I was dreading dress shopping. I hate changing rooms at the best of times - I’m the person that tries things on at home before truly deciding whether I like it or not. 

Clearly, I should not have worried. I took to dress shopping like a duck to water….in fact, I took to it a little too well. By the end of the first boutique I had a ‘top equal four’ that I could not whittle down. Every time the lovely shop assistant tried to help…

Her: Now do you prefer the strapless or the straps?

Me: Ummm, I like them both. The strapless feels secure and looks nice but the straps are a little different and I like the pattern they make down my back. 

Her: Ok. So how about the lace over the tulle? 

Me: Ummm, ohhhh, ahhhhh. Well, I’ve always loved lace but I love the way this tulle just swishes and looks like your floating on a cloud. 

Her: Right, so once again, you like them both equally?

Me: Yes.

Her: Can you not nudge one over the other?

Me: I don’t know how to! Do you by any chance have a ‘buy one, get three free’ offer on at the moment? 

And so it continued……in every shop. 

In fact, the more I tried, the more I loved. Turns out I am a dress slut. 

The trouble is I wanted to be all types of bride - I wanted to be boho bride, sophisticated bride, couture bride, beach bride, princess bride, vintage bride, tulle bride…..and then in my confused state, I committed the worst kind of wedding dress sin. I showed HTB my top 10 short list. Gulp. 

As the weeks crept on I needed to make a decision. And that’s when I stumbled across my saviour Amy at The Little White Dress. I’d found it because there was a dress I had seen and just knew I had to try on…..Cymbeline’s Fatima. I just loved the picture of the bride next to the pillar and now I had a new desire, I wanted to be ‘Pillar Bride’.

Turns out Amy also had a soft spot for pillar bride so I was in safe hands. 

But alas, just when I thought I might have cracked this whole ‘you’ll know when you find the one’ mantra, I wobbled. I just did not look as good as pillar bride. I so desperately wanted to love it but there was just something not right. 

In the depth of confusion and head swirling, Amy and mum gave me a well needed nudge back to another Cymbeline dress I had also tried on. 

And there it was. There was no moment of wailing whilst mum looked at me through teary eyes of love. There was no ‘I want to burst into song because I love it so much’ moment. And there was definitely no screaming, whooping or fireworks going off in my head. It was a quiet moment of relief and just feeling confident enough that HTB need not see it and pass his judgement. In fact, it was so subtle that had it not been for two very wise women with me suggesting two easy alterations that (in my eyes) transform the dress, the moment might have passed me by.

It has not stopped me loving other dresses. I don’t think that day will ever happen. 

But it has made me sure that for me, getting married right now, this is the dress. But you’ll have to wait until August to see it….

Phew. 

Photo Credit: Cymbeline

To get this….

to look more like this…

Hmmm, we have a mountain to climb….and I will keep you posted along the way!

Photo Credit: Top is publisher’s own, rest via Style Me Pretty

I have been an army girlfriend for over 4 years now, and during those 4 years a girlfriend to the army is often what it has felt like. It starts with the first 5 weeks at Sandhurst where communication with the outside world is forbidden, although even if it were allowed, the boys and girls are so fatigued that conversations with anyone is near impossible.

In fact, during Sandhurst HTB would regularly fall asleep on the phone, sometimes after as little as 7 minutes. Now, I know my conversation topics aren’t always exhilarating but I like to blame the army and not myself for his sudden inability to remain concious. When he was eventually allowed out at the weekends he fell asleep more than once during the meal at a dinner party, literally, head bowed almost touching the steak left on his plate….embarrassing? Sure.

But I am also immensely proud.  HTB, like so many servicemen, put their physical and mental capabilities to the extreme; something which I often wonder if I would be capable of, probably not is the answer.

Tiredness is not the only obstacle. The aspect which I have always found the hardest is the inflexible timetabling of exercise and weekends off. So what if it’s your girlfriend’s birthday and you haven’t seen each other for 4 weeks…tough sh*t. Weekends promised and taken away at the last minute, trips to Belize for a month, the inevitable stationing with your battalion, tour dates to Afghanistan; all out of control. So yes, I suppose I had to ‘man up’ quite a bit over the years, but I am so glad that I did.

I know that the level of real and terrifying perspective that being an army girlfriend brought to our relationship is one of the best things to come out of it. The army has stirred more emotions within me than I thought possible; anger, yearning, dread, exhilaration but the constant is pride. My chest feels like it might burst with pride when I think of all that HTB has done, and it’s not just him, it’s the whole of the battalion, the whole of our armed forces. Incredible people.

I suppose now I get the best bit of all, I get to marry HTB in a super fine looking uniform with swords and a proper guard of honour. Ooooh, yeaaaah. Oh and I have also put in a request for at least one champagne bottle to be sliced open by HTB and his sword – if Cameron Diaz can do it then so can he!

Photo Credit: Top two are publisher’s own, bottom via twp.tyepad